Bridging the Family Unit Gap

There are approximately 1,300 new step-families forming daily. Fifty percent of U.S. families welcome a new additional family unit. The divorce rate is increasing. The essence of the family unit is gradually shifting as time moves on. The family is the most important unit of society. The family is not only the basic societal unit. It is also the basic child-raising unit, the basic communication unit, and the basic all-around fun and friendship unit. In order for children to learn teamwork and togetherness, their parents and guardians must first learn to function as a unified team.

We must direct our attention to becoming healthy family units. The unit should strive for and recognize homeostasis. This is defined as, “a relatively stable state of equilibrium or a tendency towards such a state between the different but interdependent elements or groups of elements of an organism, group, or population.”

The beginning of acknowledgement and healing is dealing with (and confronting) pain. Dysfunction or pain can start with one person, and begin to manifest or transfer to all of those that are connected. Everyone in the family unit should know what is important, how to communicate with one another and the direction the family is moving in.

It is difficult for a family unit to become strong and redefined if one or multiple people suffer from low-esteem. A person that has low self-esteem deals with a great sense of anxiety and uncertainty about themselves. Therefore, they do not exercise stability within themselves or the unit. We must be able to accept the detours that we approach as a family, with unity wisdom and resolve. A detour is defined as, “a deviation from a direct course: a roundabout way temporarily replacing part of a route.” When we think of detours, we undeniably become aggravated and think of how we are being inconvenienced. However, I would like to offer a different way of viewing a detoured route.

Numerous family units are trapped at their detoured construction zone and they’re probing themselves with queries. There are several times when we believe we are losing self-control and that it will take an extended period of time before we witness the light at the end of the tunnel. Reality is, we simply have to regain control of our minds and realize that the detoured construction zone was essentially strategically positioned to press us to go and grow! A deviated route does not signify failure. Inversely, it signifies wisdom and strength. Once we gain control of our minds, we gain control over adversity.

We must remain focused in regard to evaluating the relationships of the unit. Do we choose to prevail or lose? When we choose to forgive, we emancipate ourselves from resentment, bitterness, revenge, depression, and much more! Forgiveness allows us to walk and reason with wholeness and we begin to welcome peace. When our peace is disturbed, it unsettles our lives and we cannot maneuver with wisdom. We must always bear in mind that love conquers all! It is not enough to forgive and be liberated from bondage, if we place ourselves back into a previous unhealthy unit. Here and now we have to take an advanced step and begin the dismissal and prioritizing process for the betterment of the unit and ourselves.

Confronting yourself is not easy, but is essential and a part of the process. Every morning I start my day off with meditation and before I go to sleep, I meditate. Meditation is vital. It is a mental exercise, focus, and reflection. I’m sure like me, your life can get pretty hectic at times with work, family, extracurricular activities, and more. We must remember that our mental health is just as significant as our physical health. We must keep in mind, if the enemy has our mind, that captivates our entire life and it becomes chaotic. However, now that we have made a CHAMPION decision to move forward in the process, the construction zone will not prohibit us. Transition is difficult for many individuals because we are used to our systematic life whether it’s healthy or unhealthy. A lot of people desire time to incorporate change piece by piece. But, when we are on life’s road and we approach the construction zone for the first time we may not be able to accept it gradually, but we have to access a detoured route, right at that moment.

Finally, there are 3 imperative ideologies that we must remain faithful to in order to have a complete unit success, which are:

Accept Reality

Acceptance doesn’t necessarily mean that I agree with it, but that I do not walk in a delusional (deceiving YOURSELF) state of mind. Accepting reality is about recognizing what’s within your control. When you can’t control the situation, then you focus on controlling yourself.

Behave Productively

Accepting reality helps you manage your thoughts and regulate your emotions—which are key to productive behavior. The choices we make determine the outcomes of situations! Unproductive behavior, like complaining or throwing a pity party, will keep you stuck. Those behaviors will rob you of mental strength. When we are stuck in the middle of uncertainty it’s imperative to ask ourselves, “What can I do for myself right now that’s within integrity?”

Control Your Thoughts

Our minds can be our best asset or our biggest enemy. We should even create a mantra that we repeat during tough times. Doing so can help quiet the negative chatter that threatens to drag us down.

Building mental strength is similar to building physical strength. While you may not think about your mental muscle until you need it the most, a crisis isn’t the best time to build mental strength.



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Jesse Sanders

Dr. J.D. Sanders, Counselor and Empowerment Coach; DFMT, NCC. The innovative, limitless, no boundaries, motivational, inspirational
speaker, and minister; had great impartation and sound wisdom from his grandparents Quentin and Zoma Sanders; he has embraced their words of wisdom and discipline. J.D. Sanders prides his ability to counsel, coach, and mentor others, not only from his extensive education and background, but from his previous many mistakes, encounters, lack of self-confidence, lack of identity, and lack of trust. As a result, J.D. Sanders has become an awesome visionary and is admired by many for his outstanding integrity, drive, and teaching.

Dr. J.D. Sanders daily pursuit is to walk in true submission to God. J.D. Sanders offers a stimulating word in practicality and truth. People can experience direction, growth and elevation. Many people
that experience the counsel and word of J.D. Sanders marvels at his
passion, wisdom, and knowledge. J.D. Sanders is a dynamic dream maker who is affecting lives in many ways. J.D. Sanders has made a conscious conclusion that he will partner with individuals, communities, and family units to shift beyond the construction zone and advance in their
destiny. Even if it includes a detoured route. We were created to create and operate as wealth walkers and undeniably we need to tap into our well.

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